so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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