Heybabeimwearingurpanties
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
