Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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