he looks like a really good dad on facebook
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
