They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
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you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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