it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
