I'm going to jail i love you
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
