I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
