$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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