youre lurking in front of me
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
