i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
