My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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