Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize