I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
