New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize