I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My vagina is officially offended.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
