i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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