His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
