I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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