Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
