It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
