You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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