Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.