At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
