And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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