Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I have post one night stand depression
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
