Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
