Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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