margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
