I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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