Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
...so i touched it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
