I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
