he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
