my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
