OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
