Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
