I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
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Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
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It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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