Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
