I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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