And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
