Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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