she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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