i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
