This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
