were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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