life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
