It's like God shit irony all over that family
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize