2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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