i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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