Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
