Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
