Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
