She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
