dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
