Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
