and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
