i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
that's an acceptable place to lick
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
