omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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