I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
