Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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