All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
